haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
