it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
