rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
