i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
