I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
