THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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