I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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