I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
