he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Bring me that man meat
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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