"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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