Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
