Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
