My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
