She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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