He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead