Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
