My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
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im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
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You and the dog were competed for the water dish
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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