called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
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Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
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you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!