She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home