yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober