i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?