Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
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