she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
