ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
