he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
