Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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