don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
