Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
