Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
