So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
