This dress was meant to end up on your floor
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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