Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
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The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
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Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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