I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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