never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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