just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
