you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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