Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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