So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
