Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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