Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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