My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
