She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
