Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
