You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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