we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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