My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
