The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i believe in u and ur pee
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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