found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
