I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize