just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
