I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Randomize
