Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
