I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
