I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
