Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
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