Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
We got so high we made milksteak
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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