No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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