Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
