My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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