hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
God, I missed his penis.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
