You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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