the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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