Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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