Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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