Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize