You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
