Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
