I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
