You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
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