Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
