ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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